Your Baby Needs You
by R. Ayana
Biological Reality Trumps Egocentric Thinking
I’ve been unwilling to write about this for decades. The subject is too challenging for many, and others will be hurt by any discussion of it. But it’s high time to speak on behalf of generations yet unborn.
People have equal rights, and in many ways they have equal responsibilities, but they are not equal. Everyone is different. The sexes – all of them – are different from each other (Viva la difference), just as older people are different (but hopefully not indifferent) to younger people.
The postmodern world is a minefield of loaded decisions, an obstacle course of poorly delineated choices. People are expected to maintain themselves and their families amidst an ever shrinking pool of resources in an ever rising tide of competition. They’re told to study for years to increase their chances of gaining a foothold in an outdated, overworked workforce that is progressively – thankfully – being replaced by computers and robots.
And as everyone knows, the whole game is rigged. There’s only room for a very small number at the pinnacles of societies, and these positions are filled by blood-linked family members, not by timeserving, hard working, self-enslaved allegedly human mice raised on treadmills. The system is obviously unfair; a method of enforced inequality. There is no way to beat it through honest labour and toil.
Yet generations scrabble for purchase, knocking each other from the ‘ladder of success’ in pursuit of dreams that can never be fulfilled, sacrificing everything that’s truly important for a transient, illusory bunch of pottage.
In pursuit of money, power, kudos and careers many people have abandoned life itself. They’ve almost literally thrown out the baby with the bathwater.
We can do everything differently if we choose. We have the technology and ability, but do we have the will? If everyone keeps working to maintain these rotten systems designed by heartless industrialists and implemented by halfwit politicians and soulless bureaucrats, how can anything change?
Why not jump off the treadmill now? Right now? Take a real leap of faith and escape. Your timing has to be good. You need to land on your feet. and you may need to take some or all of your loved ones with you – or harder still, leave them on the rat wheel if they so choose. But you can do it!
Real change comes from changing your life.
The only way to really change anything is to change the way you live – and no man or woman is an island. When you change your beliefs and lifestyle, it can alter everything and everyone around you.
Now for the painful news; you are a primate with a limited lifespan and an even more limited period of fertility. Women are not the same as men. Longevity and regeneration research may change these facts in part or whole any time now, but at present we are still locked into the same certain biological realities and prerogatives as our ancestors.
Hard truths, Simple Choices
Women: The longer you put off having babies, the worse it will be for you and them. Your body (and mind) will be heavily stressed if you have a child too young – before your body is fully formed You and your child will be even more stressed and unfortunate if you have your first child too late.
Blame god or goddess if you’re so inclined, but the truth is that the best time to have your first child is between the ages of 18 and 25. The longer you wait the higher your chance of breast or reproductive cancers – partly due to the incessant tides of hormonal chemicals coursing through the bodies of those who are not perpetually pregnant (as nature and nurture have designed human women to be).
High infant mortality rates dogged human tribes and evolution until very recent times – less than a century in fact. The unfortunate truth is that women’s bodies have evolved to be pregnant for most of their adult lives. Potent and potentially damaging hormones circulate more thoroughly when women are not pregnant. These can and do damage the body’s tissues. While very few women want to be trapped in this position in the postmodern world, female reproductive systems have evolved in this milieu.
The younger a woman has her first child and begins breast feeding the better her chances of avoiding breast and uterine cancers. Look it up. Ask your docturd* if you must, but they’ll ‘inform’ you that these problems can be solved if you lower your hormone levels by taking synthetic hormones or other toxic drugs – if you really want to stay on their soulless treadmill.
Having babies while relatively young is healthy – having your first child when older is not. It’s also unfair on your children and grandchildren. Older mothers may well have more experience of living, but that doesn’t mean they have more to offer young lives, or more life or liveliness to offer; the opposite is true.
Don’t underestimate the changes a human body must go through during pregnancy. If you wait until after 25 to have your first child your body will have a much harder time of it. If you have your first child before this point your body will adapt to childbearing much more readily. You will be more flexible and remain more flexible for subsequent pregnancies.
Around one third of all pregnancies end in caesarean sections in the postmodern world. This is obscene and unsustainable; it will lead to less and less women being capable of childbirth if allowed to continue for more generations. Very few caesareans are medically necessary. The majority occur because docturd obstetricians don’t want to hang around for the many hours required in many natural childbirths, and caesareans make it possible to spit out patient after profitable patient far more rapidly (and, they’ll tell you, more safely).
Excessive caesareans also occur more frequently because ‘postmodern’ women are far less attuned to their bodies than hitherto, and have far less experience of childbirth among family and friends. They are understandable afraid of pain and suffering. And more caesareans and epidurals occur because traditional midwives – along with their hard won knowledge of pain amelioration – have been almost entirely replaced by moneygrubbing docturds and co-opted registered nurses. Women have far fewer experienced women that they can trust to turn to than at any time in human history.
And of course, the later you have your first child the less children you’ll probably have. Your chances of conceiving at all become much lower by your early thirties; by your forties they’ve almost disappeared altogether. And don’t imagine that advances in fertility research will help you – only a very small percentage of women who attempt to have children using those means ever actually bear a child, and the children they do bear are DAMAGED.
Eggs have a shelf life. You’re born with your full complement of them, and they are easily damaged. Although you bear enough to last for hundreds of thousands of years of monthly cycles, in practice they’re all done and dusted in a very few decades.
Until women are free to choose how many (or in practice how few) children they will bear, societies are trapped in barbarism. Within a generation of women gaining freedom in work and reproductive choices, societies begin to become progressively more fair, advanced and sane.
But bureaucrats, empire builders and plutocrats inevitable try to take advantage of women’s freedoms and twist them to advantage themselves. They see an expanding workforce and expanding tax base where others imagine freedom. They convince women that becoming more isolated and looking after themselves to the exclusion of others is in their own interests. They tell women that nursing and nurturing are for suckers and that everyone is better off looking after themselves – alone. What a crock.
Until recently it was fairly easy for families in ‘developed’ countries to survive – even thrive – on a single income. Circumstances have been altered to ensure this doesn’t easily happen anymore, and somehow, even with rising living standards and ever increasing automation, everyone is expected to work more, not less – and at least two incomes are required to maintain a household!
What a scam, when by rights all of us should be experiencing far higher levels of freedom and far more leisure time – quality time to devote to our families and ourselves– than ever before!
You can blame the banksters or politicians for this wage slave mess, but the choice to play or not play their game is always yours and, despite what their minions tell you, there are always alternatives.
Carer Not Careering
A career is what happens to a vehicle that’s out of control, tearing away downhill without steering or brakes. A career is an illusion. Children are real. Many people can’t tell the difference between illusion and reality. Can you?
Do you really think that the best you can come up with is to spend the best years of your life in boring concrete blockhouses ‘learning’ – to get a ‘job’ that may or may not be there when you’ve finally racked up enough student debt to enter the work farce? Is this really the behaviour of intelligent people? If you do, it may be better if you don’t breed, and leave the important job of creating and moulding the human race to those more suited to do it.
No doubt the ancestors who struggled for billions of years to put you where you are today will understand if you prefer to throw it all away in your single lifetime. Surely.
Haven’t you seen Idiocracy?
What will you do when you’re old? Do you want to be too old to play with your grandchildren – or even your children? Don’t imagine things get easier as you age. They don’t. If you have a child at fifty your child will probably be presented with the dilemma of taking care of you or their own offspring in another twenty years or so. It may well be that advances in regeneration and longevity techniques will render these arguments redundant, but for now they’re still the staple of human experience.
We humans exist in tribal groupings that thrive when adhering to an age-old pact; adults look after their children to the exclusion of much else for their first few years – and when they are old, the converse is true. Children look after their parents in their dotage. And all this is made much easier if you have an ‘extended family’ of uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents to help share the load of young and old. Sane adults want to share time with their grandchildren, nephews and nieces. Many can even be trusted alone with them!
Sane children and adults can rarely result from the efforts of an isolated, stressed-out overworked couple – or a solo parent. Everyone needs help, and children profit from having a number of role models in their lives – having only two, or one, just isn’t enough for a healthy personality to develop and the totality of unsupported commitment drives many solo parenting couples insane!
How can you have an extended family if everyone has one child – or if they wait until their late thirties to have them? You can’t. It’s that simple. How can you thrive as a single parent?
The term ‘childcare’ is an obscenity, virtually an oxymoron in the postmodern world. Only those who don’t, can’t or won’t care for their children think they need ‘childcare’. Childcare centres are the modern version of nannies. The best that can be said for them is that they’re better than nothing, but they’re never an adequate substitute for real (biological or intentional) families loving and devoting time to and with her real actual baby. Those who tell you otherwise are liars and/or pinheads.
Living with good friends in a shared household can be the same as (or even better than) living with an extended family. If we want to live in the equivalent of an extended family all we need to learn and decide is how and what to share. What we really need to do is avoid overpopulation while maintaining the equivalent of extended families. We need to rebuild the retroactive nuclear family households into structures that can accommodate extended groups of likeminded family and friends. We need to redesign our dwellings and lifestyles. We need to become smarter and more compassionate in the ways we choose to live.
“There is no success without cooperation.” – R. Doyle
And we need to do it, not just think about it. Now. This year – this season – not next decade.
Come the Day
One day – perhaps soon – longevity research may render all these arguments obsolete. Let’s hope that day comes soon, for all our sakes. But until then, let’s all help our sisters and brothers to cope with the world we’ve inherited – and build the best of all possible worlds for all our children!
Don’t choose to be a wage slave. Don’t get into debt to the banksters or you’ll have little choice but to be sucked into the game they’ve set up for you and set you up for.
What does freedom mean? Does it mean putting off freedom until some far-flung time in the future for the sake of mindless wage slavery to some fat gormless bankster or opinionated control freak boss today?
No. It doesn’t. Your life is slipping away day by day. Even as you read this your choices are narrowing. Don’t put off the most important things for the sake of imaginary future security. You know what they say about those who are willing to sacrifice freedom for ‘security’…
We need to knock down some of the walls between our nuclear family bunkers, install windows to air out our bunker mentalities and emplace doorways to balance our need for sharing and privacy. We need to redesign our lives and living spaces if we’re to THRIVE.
Love is all you need. Turn on. Tune in. But above all OPT OUT of the noxious screened cocoon of postmodern concrete that bars you from the real living world. We can create much better realities together than we ever can apart.
Do it now – and remember; we are our great grandchildren!
*Too few appreciate the fact that ‘modern’ medicine is OFFICIALLY the third highest cause of death – and underreporting means that it’s quite possibly the MAJOR cause of death and illness! Most doctors are merely brainwashed shock troops for Big Pharma. Under these circumstances, undue and undeserved respect for self-appointed authorities like doctors is dangerous and stupid. Calling them docturds removes the aura of omnipotence and infallibility these money-gouging incompetents demand from their helpless victims. Respect needs to be earned – it can’t be automatic. Mistrusting these lying, cheating vultures is far safer than trusting them!