Even a Fool Can be Free
As I write this, I find myself in a sticky situation. Our long-suffering editor, and by that I mean him specifically having to suffer through the weekly chore of helping me sound coherent in print, has asked me to keep these somewhat shorter, so as to also keep his time with them as brief as possible and thereby retain what vestiges of sanity remain to him after being subjected to the horrors of deciphering my grammar and unravelling the madness of my spastic articulations. I may be quoting him here. =)
I can talk, speak, pretty much, and makes sense, particularily in a conversational setting, but let’s just say my skills lie in directions other than one of ‘prose’, poetry being one of them. What can I say? I avoided schooling like the evil it was and remains, and for that I offer no apology nor regret.
And yet, on this topic, of how I am a fool, that very same editor has suggested that I could literally write volumes. So you can see my challenge here. I could, if all of you had the patience, regale you with tale upon tale of how foolish I have been in my life; from self sabotage to wasteful actions, from blind to loving moments, from harsh to sweet offers of help over the years, all that I’ve muddled throughout my life towards, perhaps finally arriving there, or nearly so, into my days of conscious awareness in a dream of delightful laughter.
Suffice it to say, my stumbles have been both monumental and plentiful and the ‘stink’ of petty ideas put into action have left much to fertilize my garden of growing awareness. I am humble to have stumbled my way to a place where the monsters in my mind are mostly quiet for most of the day. That’s not to say that I don’t have my challenges, inner and outer, some of those daze more than others, towards expressing the kindness I need to manifest so that my time is as sweet as I always wished it could be.
Not an easy task, it has been, slogging through the slop of my choices in life. Learning to be selfish early on, coerced into stupidity, directed by the memes of the day towards the indulgent slaughter of my own personal energetic resources. In a society that encourages, and even in these days demands our suicidal tendencies to drive us in a its mad race, to that I have said ‘NO more’. No more nonsense from inside me, no more actions of ingratitude, and certainly, no more mean or petty thoughts also acted upon, only to once again rain down the bitter tears in which I grew to know so well.
I am the author of my life, and the maker of my destiny. But, although somewhat ‘easy’ to write in only a few small words, it has taken a lifetime of exploring how ‘foolish’ I’ve been to be able to plug the power into those words so that they are more than hollow sounds spoken in a hurricane of my own stupidity.
Yes, I am a fool, and yes, I am freeing myself. Those two points, tied tighter together than the a pair of lovers from some long lost romantic tale, have, through an honest lens of, dare I say, self-exploration, torn apart, examined in minutiae, daringly edited, and, after decades of expectorating denials, painstakingly practised honesty, I’ve cleared the way to where today, I can know and say:
Even a Fool Can be Free.
With Much Love, Lorenzo and Friends.
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