Tears for Connection

By Deanne Kaye

I was sitting in a park and a short elderly woman walked directly towards me. She had watery eyes and a gentle smile. I could tell she was feeling sad. I motioned her to sit down and asked how she was. She said, “Korea.” I asked her one more basic question which she couldn’t answer, so it was clear that conversation was not going to happen. I patted her hand as if to say, “It’s ok. We don’t have to talk.” She took my hand and rubbed my cold fingers to stimulate some heat back into them. For a few minutes, we held hands and would occasionally look at each other and smile. We watched the kids playing in the distance and felt the breeze blowing through the trees. The morning weather was pleasant, the sky was a deep blue and the green leaves flickered in the winds. I closed my eyes and wondered if I would get any internal message. I became aware of the energy field in my body and sensed it was heightening. “Is this coming from being close to this woman,” I wondered? The simple message confirmed that she was a good woman, but feeling out of place and sad. Could it be that she was feeling out of place because of not being in her country, or was she feeling out of place in our reality? Like me. I felt my energy field continue to heighten by her presence for the next several minutes. My intuition was telling me she was not all shot up with experimental drugs. She was an organic human being! How comforting. But how ironic. We couldn’t talk to each other. After about 15 minutes, she got up to leave. We said a heartfelt BYE and smiled. I didn’t notice tears in her eyes this time as she turned to casually walk down the path out of the park.

How important are such connections? Are these encounters helpful and by chance? It’s nice to have a physical connection with another, especially if you don’t often have heartfelt human contact. I know there are quite a few of us truthers out there who are disconnected from family and former friends. We wonder about our connection to this changing reality and question what our purpose is. Was this elderly woman also struggling with this? I can’t imagine I did anything like save her from committing suicide, and she hadn’t changed my life in any significant way. But I remember the encounter and the 15 minutes we spent connected together in the park.

The morning I was getting ready to leave, my Airbnb host, Stef met me in the kitchen. She wanted to apologize for not talking to me much the past few days. She had tears in her eyes and started to cry more as she spoke.

“I’m so sorry to cry. I had to return Noodle (her spunky Dachshund) to my x-boyfriend this morning. I had been pet sitting her this month and I will really miss having her around.”

“No need to apologize,” I told her. “It’s so important to cry and grieve when we suffer from loss. It takes time to heal for sure. Give yourself time.” I went to give her a hug and assured her that the pain will eventually lessen.

She went on to tell me more about her unhappy situation. “I don’t like my work. Nobody even notices me there. And living in this area is way more costly than I can afford. What’s the point? Is getting a full-time job, settling down and rushing around to pay the bills really worth it?” she asked with such disbelief.

“No, it’s not worth it,” I said. “It works for some of us some of the time, but since you are now questioning it before you get deeper into it, that says something. You want a different way.”

She continued on, “I used to travel years ago and have lost my sense of freedom over the past few years. I am caught into schedules and expectations that I don’t like anymore. I have the opportunity to visit some family in Poland and perhaps I should do that after all.”

“Oh, that sounds so nice Stef! Go for it! I was in Poland a couple years ago and it’s such a beautiful country. You can find such amazing architecture and a wide variety of nature. The Baltic States are also so memorable if you can visit them. It’s important to bring more freedom back into our life every day, especially since things were taken from us a lot over the past few years. Don’t believe all the bull shit we’ve been told. You can take back your freedom.”

She saw some glimmer of hope despite the sadness she was going through. How wonderful that she was questioning her programming. I was glad to be with her as she shared more about her uninspiring life scenario over the next 15 minutes, as well as sense she was seeing a way out of her dead-end situation. She reluctantly needed to return back to her remote work of the day and ended our talk with, “This conversation came at just the right time to help me.” I understand why you are in the healing field. Thank you so much.” She gave me a hug, and I continued on with packing up my car.

As I drove away, I thought about the short encounters I had had in the city of Tacoma, Washington. I have normally avoided cities on my travels, but if something like the car repair I needed can bring forward an experience to help heal someone’s tears, a trip to the city can be worth it. Even though I hadn’t spent much time offering support to Stef, I could tell she was ripe for change since she had been feeling her pain and disillusionment for some time. That is crucial for being willing to break old patterns. I apparently was needed to let her know she was not going crazy. Things weren’t right and she could find another way. To what degree my time of genuine connection with these 2 women was impactful, I don’t know. But if it can kindle a spark of relief or even a sense of more freedom for someone, then it’s a good thing for sure.

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Deanne Kaye has been on the healing path for over 30 years. She has explored traditional and alternative ways for healing and has been helping others since 2015 become free from such emotions as abandonment, shame, guilt, anger, self-loathing, fear, resentments, addictions and anxiety. She provides experienced guidance, step by step work, meditation practices and a space of trust and presence for releasing unhealthy thoughts and emotions. Thewayoutforhealing@protonmail.com